We were, weren’t we?
The opening power chord of the concert,
the thing that deafens the crowd as they cheer for it.
Perhaps, over time
(even in the beat and the offbeat, I feel this),
it’s more like a jazz quartet,
finding all the right grace-notes.
I mean, really- think about it. Just think of it!
All the kitchens in the world no two ever danced in.
What a waste.
But then, I too have shunned life’s gifts,
running headfirst into the wind,
my back to the sun, my face to the shadows.
How they tell us to be. And how we become.
The beat of the heart, of the drum? No. Not for you.
NOT FOR YOU
But, wait, wait… I soared wildly into the night once,
and there among the confusions and hellfires-
there, a lighthouse in this sea of blackness.
How could I not change my tack?
What else would call so brightly?
There is, in fact, an answer.
My own compass, imparted at birth,
was pressed into my hand.
“I lost my way once, as well,” she said.
These things new and forgotten
were merely of the harmonic,
of the consonant, of life and death;
and of our wings,
which always grow back given the right medicine.
If you’re reading this, whoever you are,
I hope at least once you know
the salvation hidden in the least-expected soul.
You think you know love-
until you actually know love.
We rise out of the ground- all of us
-for a moment (a moment!),
looking up wildly into the stars,
daring the infinite,
before we descend together back down into the earth.
So speak it then, all you-
speak my apostasy into the airwaves.
Even more than this,
more than the perfect publicity,
more than the grand overtures,
more even than these comforts,
I would ask of nothing but her grace.
For which is better?
The glass of whiskey,
smashed on the floor in the back of the bar,
the fire in the eyes,
the unsaid unsaid UNSAID,
the staring each other down in the midst of the storm?
The endless slow-death?
(all this does lay foundations, it’s true)
Or… the hand, laid upon the other’s head,
in those moments when all hope seems lost?
(do you see?)
The fire has purged us both, then;
and whoever you are-
if you’re reading this,
remember what I said on the other side:
I could curse the darkness we both walked through;
but far better in this, I think,
whatever the road,
is to build a house made of her light.